by: Inna Shapiro
Starting Over. Once Again.
As parents we constantly seek to teach our children important life lessons: candy causes cavities, hitting your brother will likely cause him to hit you back, and eating boogers makes you the least popular kid at the lunch table. One of the most important lessons we can teach them is about persistence. Even as they take their first steps we know they will fall, as we all have, but that the only option is to try, try again. Or perhaps to have a good cry, and then try again.
In our success oriented culture, not being good at something is seen as something shameful. Kids decide early on that if they aren’t instantly good at something, be it basketball or math, that they shouldn’t bother. Where do they get such crazy notions? I’m guessing from watching us, as I see this among adults all the time. For example, when I invite people to come dancing, they almost invariably declare they can’t dance. “Have you ever tried taking lessons?” I retort. No, of course they haven’t, being afraid to make fools of themselves in case they don’t instantly move like Beyonce. But of course even Beyonce was once a clumsy beginner.
In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell explains that one of the reasons that Chinese students are better at math than American students is that when they are given a difficult problem they don’t give up as soon as American students do. “We sometimes think of being good at mathematics as an innate ability. You either have “it” or you don’t… Success is a function of persistence and doggedness and the willingness to work hard for [a long time] to make sense of something that most people would give up on after thirty seconds.”
So why am I bringing all of this up now? Because as the school year revs up and the kids get back on a regular schedule, I find myself regrouping and picking up the old battles. I am trying once again to get back in shape. Mind you this is a shape I haven’t seen for so long I can’t even remember what it is supposed to look like, but I’m trying to get back in it anyway. I am once again trying to organize my house, and my closet, and my life. Because that is what we grownups do and should model for our kids. We keep trying, even though failure might be a constant companion and there are no guarantees of success. Because really, what are the other options? Crying, wine (or is that whine?), and chocolate can only get you so far. Time to get our booties in gear and our ducks in a row.
And so it is with the Mother’s club. We are regrouping and relaunching our newsletter! I can’t tell you how excited I am about this. Not only because it gives me a chance to write to all of you and hear back (via comments or Facebook or email) but it gives our members a place to see what is happening with our club this month and to also ask Questions of Dr. Tina, our resident child psychologist, to see ads from member businesses, and to know which Mothers Club board positions need to be filled. By the way, the service committee is one part of the club we would really like to get going again. Please email me at president@
Also as part of our regroup, we have added some very exciting new events in October. We will have our very first fall picnic on October 18th! Also the cooking class at Southern Season on October 11th is bound to be really fun. Please check the calendar section and the rest of the newsletter for more events.
Until then, keep fighting the good fight. It is a good lesson for your children. And for us all.
Inna
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