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by Evette Horton
Founder
Chapel Hill/Carrboro Mothers Club
The theme this month is "How do I know what's normal?" This question
has come up several times with Mothers Club members this month. There is not an easy, one-sentence
answer to this question because what's normal for children changes on a monthly basis! We have
little moving targets running around! What is normal for an 18-month-old may not be normal for
a 2-year-old. What's normal for one child is not necessarily normal for another child. That
requires parents to work pretty hard to figure out what is going on every few months. Talk
about on-the-job training!
Typically, the first thing I do is send parents to the Gesell
Institute of Child Development book series. I frequently recommend their Your One Year
Old, Your Two Year Old, Your Three Year Old, etc. series by Louise Bates
Ames and Frances L. Ilg. These books were published in the 1970's and can be found in
libraries, used bookstores, thrift stores, or new bookstores. Yes, that's not a typo;
they are 'oldies, but goodies.' The Gesell Institute has been doing child development
research for 50 years.
These classic books are a quick read and describe the
characteristics of the age, how the child interacts with others, how to help with
typical routines, FAQ's, etc. One of the most important concepts to glean from these
books is the fact that within a child's year of growth, there will be months of equilibrium
and months of disequilibrium (eek!). It turns out that a child's development is an
ever-evolving cycle, with periods of relative calm and periods of . well.. (if you
have had a 2 1/2 year old, you know.)
I have studied child development more years than I'm willing
to disclose here, but when I'm feeling a little stressed or confused
about what's going on in my child's behavior, I still go back and quickly review
these books. They are very reassuring. Please check them out next time you are feeling
a bit unsure.
For more information on these books and other Gesell
publications, you can check out www.gesellinstitute.org.
Posted November 2005
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